JANE'S MINDFUL MUSINGS

As we navigate midlife and beyond, change and transformation are inevitable. This period of our lives is an opportunity for rediscovery, as we seek true belonging—not only within ourselves but also by connecting with those who nurture and support our authentic selves.

Most of us try to be nice to people, but being kind is more profound. Kindness conveys that we genuinely car. There is a depth to being kind that isn't required when being nice.

How can we reclaim words like "Crone" and use them to emphasize and celebrate the wisdom and lessons learned throughout our lives? By doing so, we can remind ourselves and others that our voices and wisdom count, regardless of age.

Not prioritizing ourselves can leave us depleted and unfulfilled especially in midlife and beyond and we may not realize the terrible impact it has on us. Let go of the shame and guilt when the time comes to say no!

Music has therapeutic qualities that can help us heal from mental and physical ailments. It reduces stress and anxiety, eases pain and trauma, and releases dopamine, which boosts our mood and make us feel happy. Therefore, music is often used in therapy to aid in the healing process.

Fear of failure can be a daunting emotion that can lead to stagnant growth and the loss of possible new beginnings. To move forward requires digging deep and drawing on courage despite the possibility of failing. Every new accomplishment requires that we challenge and stretch our current capabilities.

It is a lifelong journey toward discovering through maturity and understanding that there are many reasons that we may not be what someone is looking for and that many of those reasons have nothing to do with who we are.

One of the most significant life lessons I've learned is that I can't control how others behave. I used to set expectations for others, and when they didn't meet them, I felt disappointed and blamed myself. But I've come to realize that I can't control how others act, and it's unfair to put that burden on myself.

Into adulthood that shyness manifested into a social anxiety whenever the opportunity to attend a social gathering was presented. For many years that fear controlled my life, finding ways to bow out at the last minute or avoiding learning new skills in a group setting. And yet, at the same time, I learned to dig deep and find the courage to push through if it was something that I truly desired.

Do you ever feel, after you accomplished something, self doubt your abilities and achievement? This is called Imposter Syndrome. Many of us struggle with these feelings despite our accomplishments.

Self-esteem can be impacted when our hair is misbehaving, whether fine, frizzy, dry, turning grey, or falling out. History has defined women’s hair as the ultimate symbol of our femininity and sexuality, so it is no wonder many women feel like their hair is their “crowning glory” or despair when it isn't.

I vividly remember a time I was so overwhelmed with emotions that I threw my purse across the room. Everyone, including myself, stood there, stunned by my outburst. By nature, I am even-keeled, so this was shocking to me and my family.

We are in an exciting metamorphosis in our lives right now. So, it is now our time to switch the focus onto what excites us, the passions that bring meaning into our lives. To explore what we care about, what brings joy, happiness, and fulfillment into our lives.

As we journey into the third quarter of life, the challenges and emotional upheaval of navigating the loss of loved ones become much more personal. The paradox of living a healthier and more active lifestyle is known to extend our life expectancy. With the extended life expectancy, we will be exposed to more loss through our lifetimes. 

We can choose to use our mirror image as an invitation to self-love. An invitation to be accepting and kind to ourselves. To embrace the moments that have brought us to this time in our life journey, that makes us who we are as we acknowledge our reflection in the mirror.

This time of year can be extra challenging; I miss my family and the traditions that we created. Now that I don't have family living nearby, we don't celebrate Christmas. So, midlife has changed my traditions, but who says the changes can't be for the better.

Entering mid-life was a miserable time for me, so it was an opportune moment to evaluate and modify my behavior towards the people and situations in my life. After much deep self-reflection and the cultivation of self-awareness, I hope I have found a kinder and gentler way of moving through life.

My circadian rhythm starts to sync with the lack of daylight. I sleep longer and deeper, especially when the rain is drumming its white noise outside my open window. Slowing down gives me the grace and rest to ambitiously plan for the light half of the year.

Internal dialogue can sculpt how we narrate our own stories. The stories we tell ourselves aren’t always a reflection of what happened, but how we interpreted it. We can become “stuck” in a cycle of negative internal narratives. 

To live a life of joy with a true sense of our purpose, we must listen to our inner voice, trust in ourselves, stand up for our beliefs, and walk our chosen paths with conviction.