Leave Your Fears Behind - Jane's Mindful Musings

We all have fears that hold us back from fully embracing the opportunities life presents. These fears or phobias can be irrational and, at times, quite disabling. We often know they are not logical, yet they can still lead us to avoid situations or experiences because the fear feels so overwhelming.

Learning to negotiate these feelings can be a lifelong journey. It takes courage to look inward, understand where our fears come from, and explore coping mechanisms that help ease the anxiety and allow us to move forward.

It is suggested that many fears and phobias develop during childhood, although they can also appear later in life after significant life events or changes. Understanding our fears is often the first step towards overcoming them. It is also important to remember that you are not alone.

Many people experience fears or anxieties, and by slowly learning to face them, we give ourselves the opportunity to regain control and build confidence.

This is simply my own journey with learning to face fear. Everyone's experience is different, and each journey is as unique as the individual walking it. As I have shared before, I am not a professional and do not profess to have the training to offer professional advice. I can only share what has helped me in the hope that it may resonate with someone else.

As a child, I was exceptionally shy. Looking back, life often felt like a lonely existence. I lived with a constant fear of saying or doing something embarrassing or making myself look silly. Many nights my dreams reflected those worries. One recurring dream was arriving at school only to discover I had forgotten to wear my pants. Even now, just thinking about that dream creates a little flutter of anxiety.

As I moved into adulthood, that shyness gradually developed into social anxiety.

Whenever an invitation to a social gathering arrived, I would immediately begin thinking of reasons not to go. I became very good at bowing out at the last minute or avoiding opportunities to learn new skills if it meant participating in a group setting. Yet, at the same time, there was another part of me that desperately wanted to experience life. 

If something was truly important to me, I somehow found the courage to push through the fear.

Always believing I was strong enough to deal with whatever life threw at me, I would  dismiss suggestions from my doctor that I might be experiencing anxiety or depression. Then, towards the end of peri-menopause, my usual coping mechanisms simply stopped working. For the first time in my life, I accepted that I needed help.

For me, that help came through a two-pronged approach. Anti-anxiety medication helped quieten the constant noise in my mind, while doing the deeper internal work helped me understand why I was feeling the way I was. It wasn't about eliminating fear altogether, but learning to recognise it, understand it, and find healthier ways to respond.

That process gave me the courage to move forward instead of allowing fear to dictate my choices.

Do I still feel anxious?

You bet I do.

The difference is that anxiety no longer fully controls my life. Most of the time I can now acknowledge it, work through it, and remind myself that I have overcome difficult moments before. Every time I step outside my comfort zone, it becomes just a little easier the next time.

Overcoming fears or phobias takes time. By taking one small step after another, most people can reduce their anxiety and, in many cases, move well beyond it. If you are struggling, don't be afraid to ask for support. A loved one, trusted friend, doctor or therapist can help you navigate the journey.

One thing I have learned is that some of life's greatest joys sit just beyond the things that frighten us most.

And so, my beautiful Sole Sisters, as you Ramble through your week, I encourage you to gently challenge yourself to face one fear, one small step at a time. You may just discover a strength within yourself that you never knew existed.

--Judy Blume

-Eleanor Roosevelt