How many of you struggle with that internal voice that asks “But what if I fail” when embarking on a new venture or learning a new skill? This is a question that has been with me throughout my life and has held me back from pursuing many desired ambitions.
It can be challenging to embark on a new venture or skill when the voice in your head is trying to discourage you.
Fear of failure can be a daunting emotion that can lead to stagnant growth and the loss of possible new beginnings. To move forward requires digging deep and drawing on courage despite the possibility of failing. Every new accomplishment requires that we challenge and stretch our current capabilities.
Tangled up in that fear can be feelings of shame if we do fail. If that failure is played out in a public manner or visible to others, not only can there be shame but embarrassment. The mind creates a dialogue of all the negative repercussions of failure. This shift of focus from ourselves to what others think and fear of their judgment adds to our anxiety.
Having the courage to fail requires strength. It means taking a step toward your goal, even when there is no guarantee of success. To continue to grow and learn we must embrace being a beginner every day, relishing the challenge it provides. We all have that little voice inside that will from time to time remind us that we can accomplish more, become more, rise, and fill a hidden or known potential. We must dare to fail.
So, what if it doesn’t work out as we desired? Depending on the situation, accepting the setback but moving forward may be the answer. Other times, as difficult as acceptance is, work through the failure and move on.
In my midlife, I made a conscious decision to confront my fears and develop the necessary abilities to overcome the obstacles that were holding me back. While acquiring the required skills is crucial, controlling the mind is a whole different level of effort. The mental turmoil and anxiety still exist, but I am now confronting my fears with bravery, challenging myself to embrace failure.
Recently I decided to step outside of my comfort zone, overcome my tendency to procrastinate, and initiate something I have been talking about since the pandemic hit. As many of you know, I am retired but work part-time teaching yoga and wanted to expand my offerings to include online yoga classes.
Through the support of this community, where there is a culture of support and positivity, I invited an intimate group of Sole Sisters to join me in this new venture. The interest and support of a Sole Sisters online yoga class was overwhelming. As always, whenever choosing to stretch outside of my comfort zone, especially in a public way, the anxiety, fear, and self-doubt that my mind creates is all-consuming.
Digging deep I embraced the courage to continue when my mind rebelled. The day arrived, the Sole Sisters showed up in support and it was an overwhelming failure. The new wireless microphone system I had purchased was not connecting to Zoom and my computer. To be fair, it was connecting, the error was mine. Thirty minutes later I was forced to admit defeat and end the session.
On a positive note, many of the students remained online offering assistance or just waiting while I worked on the issue. For that, I am grateful for the encouraging and kind support.
For three days afterward, I beat myself up mercilessly. All the words of support and encouragement from friends and family didn’t soothe the angst. Private failure is difficult but failing in public, that shame and embarrassment is the most difficult to overcome.
After a week of countless hours of practice, the class was a success. I allowed myself to be a beginner, failed, learned from the experience, and took a step closer to my goal.
And so, my Sole Sisters, as you ramble out into your week, take a step towards a goal, desire, or challenge that you have been dreaming of and dare yourself to fail.
You can learn new things at any time
in your life if you are willing to be a
beginner. The question we all ask
ourselves is “But what if I fail?”
The answer to that “what if” question
is that you might. A better question might be
After I fail, what then?
After you fail you will be one step
closer to succeeding, will be wiser
and stronger and you will be more
respected by all those who are afraid to try.
READ MORE > Jane's Mindful Musings, Rambler Cafe Blog.
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