Donna's Dry Vagina - Dear Sole Sisters

The Dear Sole Sisters advice column is a place where women can ask questions and get advice from the women of the Sole Sister Ramblers community.

Dear Sole Sisters,

I'm just going to say it, no beating around the bush (pun intended)... vaginal dryness!!

I know it's a symptom of menopause, so I'm not worried anything else is going on. But that doesn't make the everyday discomfort, the itchiness, or the painful sex any easier to live with.

I'm yearning for the days when I wasn't terrified sex would hurt.

I'm at my wit's end — enough is enough!! Does this just go away on its own?

I need your help, Sole Sisters! Looking for any suggestions. I'm wondering, what, if anything, has worked for you?

What's a gal to do?

Sincerely,
Dry Donna

Sole Sister Advice & Comments

• Astroglide for nookies.
  
  
• Vagifem or an unbranded product that is the same. I recently heard that pharmacists can prescribe this in the UK but only in post-menopausal women, which is ridiculous as vaginal atrophy is an early symptom of perimenopause. Vaginal atrophy (dryness, itchiness, and painful sex) is due to the drop in estrogen that can start years before the actual date of menopause - usually one year after your last period. This atrophy will not go away on its own. Still, a straightforward course of estradiol helps. I was started on 1 tablet inserted vaginally a day for 2 weeks, then down to 2 tablets a week, which turned it around. It helped deal with vaginal dryness and decreased the frequency of UTIs.
  
  
• As a rule, no scented laundry detergent for underwear! It is hard to find unscented feminine hygiene products in the UK!
  
  
• I totally understand. I got so tired of scratching myself raw, the red skin, and feeling uncomfortable that I went to see my Gynecologist. She prescribed a localized estrogen treatment to treat symptoms of vaginal dryness in and around the vagina. It really helps, so I would suggest conversing with your doctor.
  
  
• A doctor friend told me that topical estrogen is what she prescribes the most for women in menopause. It is not recommended for everyone, so definitely check with your doctor. I also went through a dry spell, and I can confidently say that it did not last!
  
  
• Topical estrogen. In Canada Vagifem in Europe Ovestin. It helps a lot.
  
  
• A great company called Damvia makes all kinds of safe, natural products. "Lip Balm for your other Lips," hahaha. Toronto-based company, great people, great products!
  
  
• Vagifem lite. Game changer! See your doctor.
  
  
• Get a prescription for topical estrogen, or there is a product called Gina which you can buy over the counter but is pretty similar. Makes a big difference
  
  
• In the last year, I, too, have gotten topical estrogen, which has helped. I first had Vagifem but was unhappy with how much plastic waste it created with the individual applicators. So, I switched to Estragyn vaginal cream, which is just as effective. It makes much less waste because it has a washable applicator and is gram for gram, about 1/10 the cost. I'm in BC, Canada, where we pay our prescription costs if uninsured. My sister has tried a wide range of natural products and eventually settled on coconut oil as her go-to solution. Although somewhat messy, it works best for her.
  
  

• This is so timely. It's like I could have written it myself. I'm calling my doctor tomorrow to ask about Vagifem.

  About five years ago, I had some unexpected spotting after menopause. What followed was months of ultrasounds, biopsies, and other tests to make sure everything was okay. Thankfully, everything came back normal.

  When I finally saw a gynecology specialist, the experience was so disappointing. He barely acknowledged me, didn't examine me, and simply told me I had "rubbed too hard" and suggested using coconut oil, or olive oil or Crisco "for all it mattered." I explained I was allergic to coconut and that I knew the difference between spotting and irritation, but he dismissed my concerns. I left in tears. My GP was upset by how I had been treated and said she would no longer refer patients to him.

  I haven't had any spotting since then until this past week, when I experienced uncomfortable sex on vacation followed by some bleeding—exactly like several women here have described.

  I'm so grateful for this group. It's comforting to be able to ask these questions openly, learn from other women's experiences, and realize we're not alone. ❤️

• Replenish - a non-estrogen treatment.
  
  
• I am sure I am experiencing this to some degree (we have yet to speak about lube (LOL); if not, this is in my future, like everyone. Now I will know what to do about it. My approach has to be ignored and soldier on when it comes to menopause-related symptoms. It sounds silly, but I have always assumed there is no solution to aging problems, so try to ignore them. I don't think about it much, research it or talk to my doctor about it. This group makes me realize how silly that is. This is why conversations like this are so empowering.
  
  
• Very true. Always good to have a woman gynecologist because they push you to use these products instead of suffering.
  
  
• Highly recommend visiting Menopause Chicks with Shirley Weir for great information on all things menopause, especially her recommendations on vaginal dryness and the Health Canada-approved vaginal moisturizer with hyaluronic acid. She is an amazing resource for us and a strong advocate!
  
  
• Well, if we're getting real here. I, too, was experiencing itchiness and dryness, so my naturopath prescribed topical estrogen cream to use, and it helped, but I always had an itchy spot. I, too, used coconut oil regularly. This past spring, I went to an endometriosis specialist and wonderful gyno for an ultrasound, and she diagnosed me with lichens sclerosis. My mom has it. It's genetic and an autoimmune disorder. I have Betaderm steroid cream for it, which I rarely need to use, but it helps a lot. Getting that diagnosis was a real bummer, but it is manageable.
  

• Genitourinary Syndrome of Menopause (GSM) is chronic and caused by, you already guessed it, menopause and the declining estrogen that goes along with it. If left untreated, apart from the discomfort, it can lead to chronic UTI’s and superbugs (which you do not want!). Speak with your Dr about vaginal estrogen. It is not absorbed systemically so if for whatever reason you cannot take HRT it is still effective on its own. You can also take it in addition to a hyaluronic acid moisturizer (see the group Menopause Chicks) and lubricants.

  For further info on this also check out Dr Mary Claire Haver and Dr Kelly Casperson on your favourite social media platform.

• t’s horrible. Won’t go away on its own. Dry is as dry does…

  However I found a small pill that inserts maybe 2xweek called ‘vagifem’ (I believe). In Canada. Works like a charm. Helps a lot

• There is a great Canadian company called Damiva. They make many products, one of which is Cleo, Lip Balm for your other lips! Hahahaha. Great product.
  
  
• If you’re unable to take estrogen, DHEA is an alternative (from compounding pharm) plus alternating with Hyaluronic Acid Vaginal Gel
  
• I was having crazy itching and just casually mentioned to my doctor that I was using a lot of Vagasil and he said why aren't you using topical vaginal estrogen. I said because I don't have any. Granted I haven't been to see my doctor for a couple of years. He gave me a prescription and it's still early days but itching seems to have lessened. Haven't had sex yet since I started it so not sure about that but we always use lube anyway, lots of lube!!
  
  
• There’s a procedure called Mona Lisa Touch, avail in US. Probably elsewhere, too. Recommended by my oncologist, who herself used it - it’s laser therapy, yes, inside, which functions the same way all of those cosmetic facial laser therapy’s work… Sloughs off superficial layers and promotes the body’s natural collagen production. Look it up.
  
  Many Gynos do it in- office. In US, sadly, self- pay rather than insurance-covered, but worth it. For optimal, might need a few times with the appropriate months apart, then maintenance.  provokes the body‘s natural healing, plumps, lubricates and incredibly effective. Try all of the above comments with the topical also , although right after this particular procedure, you have to avoid any topicals temporarily as instructed.
  
  

• “Beauty from bees”intimate oil is lovely for sexy times and seems to protect the skin.

  Because the formula is made of 100% natural, food-grade ingredients (apricot, olive, and pomegranate oils)

  Not edible but not harmful if consumed

• I first heard about vaginal atrophy a few years back and was gobsmacked. I had had the painful sex problem but never thought that things could be atrophying. As many women here have said you need to get a prescription for vaginal estrogen. It is completely safe for women to take until you die. Also you might look into a vaginal moisturizer. I recently became sexually active after a number of years of celibacy and thanks to these things everything is working great again!! Thank goodness.
  
  
• I tried to deal with this for two years or more with just over-the-counter Vagisil and other products until it got too bad when I went to the doctor. She diagnosed lichen sclerosis told me to stop using Vagisil. It only makes it more dry. to speak to a few of the other comments.
  
  I am 67 years old after 60 they don’t want women on HRT higher chance of cancer. Now this is in Ontario. I can’t speak for other provinces she ended up putting me on Taro-Clobetasol on the outside for 12 weeks then she also added Premarin insertion and around the outside.  these are both prescriptions in Ontario. I now pretty much just use the Premarin.
  
  
•  I have both estrogen suppositories as well as vaginal cream - but I'm just not very faithful about using it. The suppositories are messy. Also - and since this appears to be a completely open forum - I have a question about oral sex - is the stuff safe to lick? I think I'll be better about using this stuff since I've read that it can cut down on UTIs - I get several a year. Thanks for that info!
  
  

READ MORE > Dear Sole Sisters, Rambler Cafe Blog

Sole Sister Ramblers does not endorse the opinions, advice, or content shared in this column. Our goal is simply to provide access to the wisdom, experiences, and diverse perspectives of your Sole Sisters.