Shapewear Skeptic Sharon - Just Jill

Just Jill is the creation of Jill Cohen Morris. Jill is an avid rambler and mother of two from Toronto, Canada with a remarkable zest for life and a fabulous sense of humor.

 Dear Just Jill, 

Wardrobe dilemma alert!!

I have a wedding coming up, and I am debating whether or not to wear some form of shapewear. Do girdles even exist anymore? What are women of our vintage wearing these days? 

I went looking and was overwhelmed. Do I want a bigger butt, a flatter butt, a higher butt? Who knew there were so many choices? Long gone are the days of buying a simple girdle. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

I want something to hold in all my mushiness, from my butt to my tummy to my thighs. 

I want to feel comfortable and confident in my outfit. I don't want to feel like I can't breathe. Is this too much to ask?

I'm looking for advice from my wise Sole Sisters. Is shapewear worth the squeeze? 

Any recommendations?

What’s a gal to do?

Sincerely,

Shapewear Skeptic Sharon

Sole Sister Advice & Comments

• I don’t like anything too tight or restricting but for a special occasion I always wear something that smooths everything out and there are so many options out there now. I find it makes your clothes hang a little nicer and makes me feel more confident, secure and comfortable. It is definitely a personal choice, but it is a big thumbs up for me.
  
  
• The only thing I don’t like is my butt. I have been working out so much but no butt solution. I hate my butt. I didn’t know we could buy butt enhancers. But, at the same time, I don't want to attract any men. I am also waiting for ideas from my sole sisters. A nice small rounded backside would be nice…fake or real.
  
  
• Ask around and find a higher end lingerie shop…you’ll have to make an appointment. Tell them what you want and bring your outfit with you to the appointment. They will know what to do!
  
  
• I spent so many years stressing for days over an outfit… shopping for something to make me look smoother, fretting over the outfit when it is on, being aware of how uncomfortable it is for the rest of the evening and being more aware if what was squeezing or poking me than the event and just having fun! Of all the people in the room, 99.9% of them will never really look at what you are wearing. Of course we want to feel good, so choose an outfit that you like! Choose something that makes you feel happy that you can be present and celebrate your friends day and just have fun! Choose one that you want to take out and wear again because it has fun memories and won’t get thrown into the back of the closet with uncomfortable memories!
  
  
• I used to wear shapewear every single day at work under my suit. My advice is to invest in the good stuff and make sure it is not too small (try it on). I had the cheap stuff and it always rolled down or inched up and you'll spend the whole night pulling at it. Wedging yourself into something that is a little too small is no fun at all -- and your body will look like a bruised apple by the end of the night. Choose something soft with just a little smoothing support not full on sausage. When I left my job my shapewear went out the door with the corporate work suits never to be worn again. My approach now can best be described as "flowing."
  
  
• I get it….those wedding photos last forever. My best advice is don’t buy cheap. As the evening progresses you can always take it off….I usually peel off the nylons and bring my flats for the dance floor as that is when the fun begins!
  
  
• I find a bra with large shoulder straps and a wide back strap, and panties with a little lycra which are high waisted, totally covering my bottom, with the legs of the briefs reaching about 3 inches down my thigh...literally, then and now, has me looking about 20 pounds lighter...without going control panty or control bra, etc.
  
  
• High quality fabric in an elegant graceful flowing style. No restrictions. Big smile.
  
  
• I have a slim boyish figure and will wear shape enhancing undergarments for a special occasion. I do it for me, it makes me feel more beautiful just like wearing makeup and doing my hair for the occasion.
  
  
• I support good quality shapewear for special occasions, however, I have a terrible story about wearing some for a hot, outdoor wedding. I put it on with my form fitting dress over top, and sat down to do a final coat on my fingernails. Unfortunately, I sat on quite a large splinter, but between the fresh nails, and the shapewear, let’s just say not only was the whole day uncomfortable, but so were the next 3 days until that thing worked its way out!
  
  
• Having said that, good quality shapewear that isn’t too tight, and gives you that boost of confidence can be amazing, but if you’re plucking and tugging the whole time, it’s not worth it.
  
  
• For me, there’s a time and a place for shapewear. No different than high heels or makeup, wearing something to smooth things out so that my outfit looks better is sometimes what’s needed. My favourite piece is a bodysuit that goes to just above the knee, with a built-in bra. It’s not too tight, and doesn’t roll.
  
  
• Ok...so I'm well endowed and bodacious...used to be almost a 100 pounds heavier and my girls and my wobbly back folds and my bottom all shoved each other around, and would just hang out where they like. And now, with work, yes less weight...but the jigglers still do their dance. So here's what I did then and do now for dressy...a bra with wide straps and smooth...no seams or lace nor padding. As little stitching as possible and a wide band at the back. This controls the girls and upper back bulges. I'm looking for smooth and no digging in.  For panties...I get the waist high, longer leg and smooth. I avoid major tummy control...all they do is push my rolls closer together and they squeeze out the top when I sit down making my stomach look 5 times bigger. So, again, smooth and I get them to totally cover my behind. They have a short leg on them so that panty lines can't be seen across the tops of my thigh, a slightly longer leg facilitates this particularly if your dress or trousers don't hug your hips tightly. 
  
  
• Hmmmm. I’m not a dresser upper. I have always felt like a fake when I tried to be fancy. I am a no makeup, no high heels, simple clothes gal and that’s what I choose even on special occasions. I want to feel like me and I want the world to see me as I am. So this talk of getting special undergarments just for an occasion seems somewhat foreign to me. I guess I’m just not sure it’s worth the money, the effort or even the consideration. At least not for me.  Now a costume….that’s a different story. I love that kind of dressing up!!
  
  
• If you go to a lingerie store, be sure to take the outfit you want to wear with you and get the sales person to help you. They know their stuff!! I don’t like to feel squeezed, I just want my outfit to not cling.
  
  
• When I retired, I said I would never wear a bra again. I looked in the mirror one day and realized that wasn't working. If a shape garment makes the dress fit better and you feel better, then why not?! It wouldn't be everyday wear for me, but I see no problem with them for the special days.
  
  
• I have found as I’ve aged that I don’t need something to fit tight. Classic layers have worked for me - I think about Katherine Hepburn, Diane Keaton.

SSR doesn't endorse the advice or content shared in this column. Our goal is to access the wisdom of our incredible Sole Sisters. 

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