Carole is a retired 64-year-old wife and mother navigating the next chapter of life. While figuring that out, she keeps busy by reading, hiking, knitting, and braving the ocean a few times a week—year-round!
When I joined Sole Sister Ramblers in 2024, I was retired, my husband was still working, but we enjoyed doing things together. I had friends I spent time with occasionally, I dipped in the ocean regularly, and life was good. But something was missing.
Before Sole Sisters, when I got together with friends who knew my history, my husband, and my sons, the conversations were fairly typical. What's new? Remember when we did that? Did you hear about so-and-so?
With Sole Sisters, the conversations have nothing to do with a shared past. They're varied and meandering, sometimes taking us to places I've never thought about, and other times touching on subjects that only a group of similarly aged women can truly understand and appreciate.
I didn't know I was missing this kind of connection and conversation until I found it.
During my working years, I never had anyone reporting directly to me, although I often provided guidance with situations and tasks. I never really thought of myself as a leader, so when Sole Sisters came along, the thought of leading a Ramble was pretty scary. But one day, I decided to bite the bullet and posted an ocean-dipping Ramble.
No one signed up!
Yes, I was disappointed, but I realized that going into the ocean isn't for everyone. So I tried again, this time adding a walk beforehand, and got a good turnout. Five of us dipped in the ocean afterwards, and one of those women still dips with me every week.
About a year and a half ago, I started leading biweekly morning walks along our Nanaimo waterfront, followed by tea or coffee at Javawocky Café for anyone who wanted to stay and chat for a while. About six months ago, we switched to weekly walks, with another Sole Sister and me taking turns leading them. I also host a mahjong afternoon Ramble for women who want to learn and play.
Being a Ramble leader has been transformational for me. It's taught me that it's okay to try and fail, and it's given me confidence I didn't know I had.
We have some regulars who come to almost every Ramble, and we often have brand-new Sole Sisters joining us as well. Last Monday, I twisted my ankle on a different Ramble, so I wasn't able to lead the walk last week or this morning. I did, however, meet up with everyone for tea afterwards on both occasions.
As we sat around the table outside the café this morning, a couple of the women were giving me a hard time about not wearing a walking boot to help my ankle heal. It wasn't annoying nagging. It was the kind that comes from people who genuinely care about you. Then one of them announced that she even had a scooter I could use. I turned to her and mouthed, "F-off!" She burst out laughing, along with the other women at the table.
Someone shook her head and said, "Sisters!" One of the newer Sole Sisters looked a little puzzled and asked if we were actually sisters. We laughed and explained that no, we weren't related, but sometimes it certainly feels that way.
It was such a small, funny moment, but it summed up exactly how I feel about this group. We can tease each other, laugh together, and look out for one another. And even though we haven't known each other all that long, there's a genuine sense of belonging.
As we all headed off to our cars, I found myself thinking about how lucky I am. Here I was, spending my morning with women who, with one exception, I had met entirely through Sole Sister Ramblers. Some I only know from our morning walks, and yet I feel completely at home with them. It actually makes me a little emotional thinking about how good these women make me feel.
There's something special about spending a few hours with women around my age who get my humour, make everyone feel welcome, and don't care how fast or slow we walk. Women who are going through their own experiences in life and who simply want to connect with other women, just as I do.
It doesn't mean we all have to be best friends or even get together outside of our Rambles, although that's awesome when it happens. It just means that we belong to something that makes us feel good.
And that's something I didn't even realize I was missing.
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