Sex it up Susannah - Just Jill – solesisterramblers

Just Jill is the creation of Jill Cohen Morris. Jill is an avid rambler and mother of two from Toronto, Canada with a remarkable zest for life and a fabulous sense of humor.

Dear Just Jill,

Sex toys… did I say that out loud??? Eek I am currently a million shades of red not fifty shades of grey!! Did anybody read the book or see the movie? What were those balls?

I am the first to say I am not adventurous when it comes to sex. I don’t even like talking about it. Am I old fashioned? Probably. I have been married to my husband for more than 20 years. Our sex life has certainly waned in the last few years.

Am I looking to spice it up? Maybe. Truthfully I haven’t been in the mood. Perhaps toys could help.

I think I am ready to explore, at the very least know what is out there. I’m very curious. What are women into these days? Vibrators, dildos?? Is there newer stuff that I am unaware of? Is this something one does on their own or with a partner? Have I missed the boat on this?

Any recommendations? Looking for advice from all my wise Sole Sisters.

What’s a gal to do?

Sincerely,

Sex it up Susannah

Sole Sister Advice & Comments

A way to a man's heart (or other organs) is through their stomach they say, start with (spray on, wipe/blow/slap on, lick off) food and ice cubes. And of course a safe word. Also, have him shave your legs. Less work for you, makes him appreciate what you do for him!
It’s easy to spend a lot of money on sex toys, only to realize you don’t really love them. It really depends on what kind of stimulation you’re looking for. A lot of women who are getting started with sex toys prefer something with clitoral stimulation, rather than insertion. Some people like clitoral stimulation during insertion. Some people like the G Spot stimulation, while others like the Cervix. Is it too soon to throw in a$$ play?
It’s fun to explore together, but it can also be empowering to use them in your solo play to get an idea of what you really like, and so you can become proficient in your communication when sharing your likes and wants with your partner. The wand is an old classic, but there’s lots of little lipstick or bullet shaped clitoral stimulator’s that people love and find easy as a segue into more sophisticated play.
I was listening to my favorite podcast called Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis Dreyfus, and she was interviewing Jane Fonda (who was freaking amazing) and Jane is single, and Julia asked her if she ever wanted to have a sexual relationship again and Jane said no.

So Julia asked her how she satisfies her sexual urges, and Jane said she has a drawer full of vibrators because so many people mailed them to her after the Frankie and Grace episodes about starting a vibrator company. Julie asked her what her favorite one was, and without pause she said, "The Rabbit," and Julia said yep, that is a classic favorite. So I asked around with my friends and a few of them concurred with The Rabbit.
This is a great resource as well!! It is a website called OMGYes all about women's sexual pleasure with articles, research and tips and tricks. A subscription is a great gift to yourself!
I would say open discussion with your partner and a trip to the sex shop together, it can be very educational and help with ideas that you might want to explore together or separately.
Try a vibrator just for fun - you’ll love it.