Insomniac Ida Can't Sleep - Just Jill, Rambler Cafe Blog

Just Jill is the creation of Jill Cohen Morris. Jill is an avid rambler and mother of two from Toronto, Canada with a remarkable zest for life and a fabulous sense of humor.

Dear Just Jill,

I can't sleep! I can't sleep!! I can't sleep!!!

This is torture. Every night, the same routine. I lie in bed. I think I'm tired. I just lie there waiting, and nothing… I'm wide awake. I toss and turn. Sometimes, I fall asleep only to wake up again. It's so frustrating. The more frustrated I get, the more awake I get. It's a vicious cycle.

I have read so much about why this could be happening. Number one takeaway for me is this is part of aging … yay… not!!

So what do I do? Do I talk to my doctor, see a naturopath, or take melatonin, pot gummies, meditate, count sheep … what??

Do any other Sole Sisters experience this? How do you cope? Would love any and all advice.

What's a gal to do?

Sincerely,

Insomniac Ida

Sole Sister Advice

I have the same problem and feel your frustration - it is dispiriting and debilitating. I have no answers to the problem of getting to sleep and staying asleep, and I have done all the usual things. I listen to YouTube lectures or plays or audiobooks if I am awake at night, quietly, using earplugs. Sometimes, this sends me to sleep. If not, it at least distracts me from my churning thoughts. I hope you find something that helps you.
As a shift worker, I have had many problems falling asleep. So much so that it has taken approximately 4 years of no longer working night shifts to get back onto a regular day/night cycle. I'm sure the hormonal changes of perimenopause have not helped! I've found that sleep hygiene is essential and includes your bedtime routines and rituals and the environment itself. Living in London, I was introduced to Sleepio, a Cognitive Behavior Therapy. I had access to it for free - but honestly, it is well worth the cost as I learned a lot about my sleeping environment and how to promote a sleeping setting as well as fostering good sleep habits. I do not read in bed to fall asleep, do not clock watch. I removed my clock from my bedside. I use an old smartphone as an alarm clock and keep it face down on my bedside table. I do not lie in bed awake for more than an estimated 15 mins - get up and do something unstimulating like reading with dim light as bright lights will wake you more awake.
I've found self-hypnosis tapes instrumental and have been listening to Fall Asleep Fast and Go Back to Sleep. I can't get through the recordings without falling asleep! I've got these recordings on the same old smartphone at my bedside and set the timer to 'Stop Playing' so the player doesn't repeat or go on to the next recording. As the self-hypnosis recording states, poor sleep is a habit we can train ourselves out of. Lastly, I ordered these headphones so I can listen to my go-back-to-sleep recordings without disturbing my partner.
Oh, I am sooooo with you! I've tried sleep routines to tell my body I'm going to sleep: no screens for 2 hours before bed, no caffeine after noon, Quietude, a homeopathic remedy, pot gummies, and meditation…. Some of them have worked short term. But nothing lately. Going mental. Then I remembered reading recently, in a super book titled Stolen Focus, that many people had a "second sleep before electricity." So they would go to bed with the waning of the day, and then midway through the night, they'd wake. They would then do whatever they could do by candlelight or oil lamp for a few hours and then go back to sleep. So, a 4-hour sleep was considered normal, and another sleep period after that. This is what I'm going to try. Go to bed, hope.
I fall asleep. If I do NOT LOOK AT THE TIME, then read, journal, embroider, or… until I'm sleepy. Not looking at the time is my battle against "I won't get enough sleep. Oh my god, look at the time, oh no, I'm going to be soooo tired…" It's a mind game, there's no doubt. I'll see if it works.
I take half a CBD/CBN/THC combo gummy. It helps me fall asleep and helps with my restless legs. Not perfect, but definitely better.
One thing I learned from a naturopath was squared breathing. Breathe into the count of 4, hold for 4, breathe slowly for 4, and leave out for 4. I usually do this 7 or 8 times - it probably works for me.
I also resort to 1/2 Gravol or Travel Tabs (same thing). That is not recommended for the long term, though.
With you on this! I have slept only a few nights in the last 4 years. It's so debilitating. I can generally get to sleep now as I avoid electronics, use a silk pillowcase (cooler), sleep with the window open, and take lion's mane supplements to reduce my mental activity volume. But staying asleep is impossible. The slightest noise - my son going to bed later, the dog rearranging herself, foxes in the garden playing with stolen dog toys - and I'm awake. If it's all quiet, I wake up needing the toilet, or during my many weird dreams, or mainly because I'm too hot and cold. I have tried all sorts of ideas - magnesium foot butter, pillow spray, sleep tablets, and gummies of various kinds, but they don't work for me. Breathing techniques help me get back to sleep but don't stop me from waking up. I am hoping HRT will work - I am currently on my 3rd type and increasing doses - still needs to be fixed, but I am also trying magnesium supplements.
One thing I can guarantee to get you to sleep in the first place - fantasize about having sex with someone really hot - you will fall asleep before the fun stuff every time.
I do shift work, so not sleeping is a common occurrence. I use melatonin. But the best thing for me is through my fitness app; they work fabulously if they have sleep meditations.
Routine is essential; it's best if you can go to bed at the same time, which can be challenging. Avoid caffeine before bed, not eating too close to bedtime, and avoiding screen time.
For me, the key is shutting off my brain; that's why the meditations help; they give your brain something else to focus on and lull you. Hope you figure it out and get sleep soon.
You have my sympathies. I used to take melatonin every night with mixed results. Then I read that, eventually, it will affect your body's ability to absorb natural melatonin. Sometimes, meditation would work. I was getting 6 hrs of broken sleep- waking for 2-3 hrs in the middle of the night. I finally started raking 50 mgs of Trazodone on my doctor's advice. It works perfectly & also has taken the edge off my PTSD. He said I can stay on it forever. No side effects are a bonus! Best of luck to you.
Limit alcohol intake…or take a break altogether. We have been enjoying a tart cherry juice nightcap; it has naturally occurring melatonin in it. Mix a few tablespoons in sparkling water… yummy.
Blackout curtains and a fan aimed directly at my body have helped a lot, and if I wake up, I go pee right away and drink a few sips of water.
A strong sleep routine and opening the curtains in the morning to get sun first thing is essential, but that worked for me until perimenopause. I have been on HRT for almost a year, which helped the waking at 3 a.m. thing. It's not a good long-term solution, so I'm also seeing a naturopath who has me on a concoction that seems to work well for me. I sleep soundly again. I take it morning and night and also take a magnesium supplement.
You may be menopausal/perimenopausal. It may be worth consulting your doctor regarding HRT. I hadn't had a decent night's sleep in about 8 years. I went on HRT, and the first night I took the progesterone tablet - I slept for 6 hours straight, and it felt amazing.
Tylenol p.m. and THC /CBD
I use gummies to sleep and give myself more time to sleep in whenever possible because I sleep best in the morning, and if I get up too early, I feel tired all day!
A clear head results in the best sleep for me. I've gotten up in the middle of the night before to write stuff down - I now keep a pen and a pad of paper on my nightstand.
I don't sleep as well in the summer, so I've had quite a few five-hour nights lately.
I'm ordering some gummies that will do the trick. No melatonin, no CBD or THC – all of those things are intolerable to my body. Other than that, I practice all the usual stuff end: no drinking liquids late, no alcohol, no caffeine, reduced sugar consumption, before-bed routine, dark room, sleep, mask, meditation, and breath work. I think it all helps. It's finding your unique combo that's the hard part!
The one thing that does help us all sleep the best is having a foot rub/reflexology before bed.
Give this Ten Percent Happier app a listen if you haven't already. This doctor's approach is a bit different. I hope it helps.