Jane Witherspoon is a Canadian expat, adventurous spirit, and dedicated yoga instructor who now calls Dénia, Spain home. A passionate Rambler at heart, she embraces the richness of life in her new Mediterranean lifestyle.
As women, some of us may begin to notice that, as we grow older, we feel a little less seen—as though we're quietly fading into the background.
As I reflected on this, I realized that there are really two stories woven into my own experience.
One is the story many women know all too well as they grow older.
The other began long before midlife.
Feeling unseen isn't something that arrived with age. It's a feeling I've experienced at different times throughout my life, simply because I've always been a quiet, more reserved person.
I've never been the loudest voice in the room or the one who naturally drew attention to myself. I was often the one who listened more than I spoke, who observed before joining a conversation, and who felt more comfortable in the background than in the spotlight.
There were times when that quietness left me feeling overlooked. Not because people were intentionally excluding me, but because louder voices often seemed to fill the space first.
For many years, I wondered if being quieter somehow made me less interesting or less memorable. Looking back now, I realize that wasn't true at all. Being quiet wasn't a weakness—it was simply part of who I am.
What I didn't understand then was that being seen has very little to do with how loudly we speak. It has far more to do with how willing we are to show up as our authentic selves and believe that who we are is enough.
I have been fortunate that, since entering midlife, I've found ways to become more seen.
Not by changing who I am, but by stepping outside the comfort of my quiet, reserved shell.
I've said yes to new experiences, embraced opportunities that once would have intimidated me, and discovered passions I never imagined I'd have. Along the way, I've built meaningful friendships, found a deep sense of purpose, and created a life that feels rich with connection, adventure, and joy.
The quiet woman I have always been is still very much a part of me. The difference is that I've learned she deserves to be seen too.
Now, as I've grown older, I've experienced a different kind of invisibility—one that many women know all too well. It's the subtle feeling that society no longer notices us in quite the same way it once did.
As I began reflecting on this topic, I discovered that these feelings are far more common than I realized.
A survey by Gransnet found that 70% of women believe they begin to feel invisible as they grow older, with many saying those feelings start around the age of 52. The same survey found that nearly two-thirds of women feel they become less visible than men as they age.
Reading those statistics made me pause.
On one hand, they saddened me. On the other, they made me realize just how common these feelings really are. If you've been feeling lonely or invisible lately, I want you to know you're not alone.
In recent years, the term "Invisible Woman Syndrome" has emerged to describe the experience many women have as they move through midlife and beyond. In a culture that often celebrates youth, it's easy to begin questioning our place and our value.
It's a subtle shift that can quietly chip away at our confidence. As we grow older, many of us experience profound changes. We may lose a husband or partner, say goodbye to lifelong friends, or find ourselves navigating an empty nest, retirement, or declining health. Our social circles often become smaller, and the lives we've always known can change in ways we never expected.
In the midst of all that change, it's easy to start believing that our best years are behind us, that we have less to contribute, or that the world simply isn't paying as much attention anymore.
But I don't believe that's true.
What I've come to realize is that becoming more visible isn't about becoming louder or trying to be someone we're not. It's about refusing to fade into the background of our own lives.
It's about continuing to say yes—to experiences that spark our curiosity, friendships that make us feel seen and valued, opportunities to care for our health, learn something new, travel, volunteer, or simply dream about what's still possible.
The world may not always notice us in the way it once did, but that doesn't mean we stop showing up. If anything, this is the time to step forward, embrace who we are, and remind ourselves that our value has never depended on someone else's ability to see it.
Perhaps that's one of the reasons Sole Sister Ramblers means so much to me.
We didn't create this community simply to encourage women to walk together. We created it because we believe that every woman deserves to feel seen, valued, and connected.
Our mission has always been about so much more than movement. It's about creating meaningful friendships, fostering a sense of belonging, and reminding women in midlife and beyond that they still have so much to offer. That their voices matter. Their experiences matter. Their dreams still matter.
Every time a woman joins a Ramble, shares a story, encourages another member, or simply feels like she belongs, we are quietly pushing back against the idea that women become invisible as they age.
Because they don't.
If anything, this stage of life reveals some of the strongest, wisest, and most compassionate women I've ever had the privilege of knowing.
And so, my Sole Sisters, as you Ramble out into your week, may you remember that your worth has never been defined by your age, your appearance, or how visible you feel to the world.
May you have the courage to step outside your comfort zone, embrace new experiences, and continue creating a life that fills your heart with purpose, connection, and joy.
A young woman asked me, 'Don't you feel invisible now that you’re older? People don't look at you the way they look at me.'
I smiled and told her, 'Honey, being invisible to the wrong people is a superpower. When I was your age, I was a prisoner of everyone’s gaze. I dressed for them, I spoke for them, and I worried for them.
Now, I wear my gray hair like a crown of thorns I’ve survived. I wear my wrinkles like a map of a life well-lived. I’m not invisible; I’m finally transparent. I see through the lies, the fake smiles, and the shallow promises. I’m not waiting for someone to "notice" me anymore; I’m busy noticing the beauty of the life I’ve built.'
Real power isn't being the prettiest person in the room; it’s being the most peaceful one. You spend your youth trying to be a "masterpiece" for others. You spend your 60s being the artist of your own joy.
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READ MORE > Jane's Mindful Musings, Rambler Cafe Blog
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