Jane Witherspoon is a Canadian expat adventurer, yoga instructor and passionate rambler who recently relocated from Panama to Denia, Spain.
Every country in the world denotes a special day each year to celebrate their mothers, the life force of humanity. So, as Mother's Day approaches in some parts of the world, this is an excellent time for us to explore the joys and challenges of our changing roles as mothers of grown children.
Some of us are now exploring and traveling a new path with our children, the shift in the mother-child relationship. I know this will not speak to everyone; some of us chose to embrace life without children, or others create and nurture a non-biological child they love as their own. Some of us are still in the throes of raising younger children while many of us have complex relationships with our mothers and children.
So, this post may not reflect your life at the present moment, but we all have mothers, so I hope this helps create space for you to reflect on your relationship with yours.
This shift in the mother and child dynamic can seem daunting, unknown territory. There can be a feeling of loss, wondering if we are still needed as they move forward and create a life of their own.
Having been on this path for many years now, with my youngest almost thirty and my oldest turning forty-two, I feel a sense of joy that comes with the freedom this allows me. I've done the heavy lifting, moved past the time in my life when all decisions revolved around what was best for my children. I loved raising my daughters, who are all now amazing human beings but this freedom is also wonderful.
This is a time when we learn to be loving and supportive while letting go. At first, we are still heavily relied upon as our kids navigate the challenges of living in the world out from underneath our protective wings. The calls asking how to cook a meal, do laundry, and other forms of help are frequent. But over time, the calls happen less often, and the requests for assistance diminish just as they did with our mothers.
Slowly our relationship evolves into that of a friend and confidant. We are hearing the ideas, thoughts, and concerns of another adult. Our role now is to listen. Our growth comes as we learn to let go of worrying about them.
We will never stop worrying about them, we are mothers, after all, but like with other adults, the worry will come when they are dealing with a difficult situation in their lives that we can't fix for them as we did when they were small. Our growth comes as we let go of giving advice unless asked and accept their choices. Our growth comes as we learn to provide them with space for their growth to create and live their own lives.
As we move through our midlife and beyond, we continue to embrace and live a whole and rewarding life, slowly growing and preparing to take on the reins of the family matriarch. We are wise and knowledgeable, ready to impart our words of wisdom.
And so, my Sole Sisters, as you ramble out into your week, may you find the joy of the relationship we share as women, mothers, and daughters, the life force of humanity.
As a child she walks before you, to set an example.
As a teenager she walks behind you, to be there should you need her
As an adult she walks beside you, so that as two friends you can enjoy life together. - Unknown
You will teach them to fly, but they will not fly your flight.
You will teach them to dream,but they will not dream your dream.
You will teach them to live, but they will not live your life.
Nevertheless, in every flight, In every dream, in every life,
The print of the way you taught them will remain. - Mother Teresa
READ MORE > Jane's Mindful Musings, Rambler Cafe Blog
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