Winnie's Wrinkles - Just Jill, Sole Sister Ramblers

Just Jill is the creation of Jill Cohen Morris. Jill is an avid rambler and mother of two from Toronto, Canada with a remarkable zest for life and a fabulous sense of humor.

Dear Just Jill,

I am good with aging. I know I’m not 25 anymore and I am proud of it.

However, sometimes I look in the mirror and I think hmmm a little lift here, a little pull there, wowza! But then I think of Joan Rivers or Nicole Kidman or even some women who I come across in my daily life! Eek!

My partner, as supportive as he is, has told me outright “Please don’t, I’m so scared of what you’ll look like.” There is a part of me that thinks that too. What if I come out with a frozen face? Is it a slippery slope? Will I be able to recognize when enough is enough?

Bottom line, I don’t need to dive head first into the fountain of youth but dipping a toe in I’m okay with. I would just love to not look tired and weathered. I want to look fresh! Something even a good night's sleep and healthy habits cannot solve at this point.

I do NOT want duck lips.I do NOT want spock brows. I DO want my eyebrows to move when I laugh.

I don’t want to be judged if I do decide to do something, whether it’s botox, filler, surgery or something non invasive. I wish that I didn’t care so much about what others will think but I do. Why did I have to be anonymous?

Why is there such a stigma about all this stuff? As women, we are so quick to call out someone who we think has had too much done but at the same time wanting to do something ourselves.

So what’s a girl to do?

Sincerely,

Wrinkled Winnie

Sole Sister Advice & Comments

This year while I was at the dermatologist for my yearly skin cancer check, I got the pamphlet with all the options. I feel self-conscious about the two lines between my eyes and the redness on my cheeks. I remember almost a decade ago being quietly judgemental with a colleague talking about her botox. I regret that now. I understand now. The stigma is real. As women, we are supposed to just looker younger than we are without trying. Most of us can't do that. But as of now, I have yet to test the water. The price tag is the most significant barrier and a general dislike of medical procedures. I fear going "under the knife" for reasons that can be avoided. When we were young, my husband and I would look at the worn furniture in our living room and say it was either a new sofa or a trip. Today I look at my haggard face and think I can get work done or go on a trip. Hmmm.
My lousy skin and deep acne scars have hindered me my entire life. I have had Botox and filler and love it. No one even knows. I was blessed to have a doctor who helped me with my scarring, and I finally had a C02 laser treatment to minimize my scarring. I have spent 50k over the years trying to get rid of these scars and finally have some results. If something makes you feel more comfortable, do it. It takes much Botox or filler to look like Joan rivers.
The word aesthetics has become a fashionable and familiar term. Even young people are getting improvements. I think of how to improve my appearance, especially now with aging. But I wouldn't dare go under the knife or needles. Moreover, some are temporary and imagine the maintenance costs. I dare not even think of the permanent ones, especially if it's botched. So instead, I changed all my everyday skincare to anti-wrinkle and anti-aging skincare as a consolation. I feel proud that I have a pimple here and there and use my teenage acne treatment cream.
I embrace aging as gracefully as I can. Avoid looking into the mirror for extended periods to avoid discovering new wrinkles or skin pigmentation. I appreciate the things I can still do and the new things I am learning.
It takes a lot of product to freeze your face. I have had Botox and filler. It is expensive, and I have to do it again when it wears out. It does make me feel better and is very natural. No one even notices. It is just for me. If I can afford it, I will do it for the long term.
I love this topic so much because I go back and forth about how I feel about it. I have done some Botox on the lines between my eyes and the wrinkles under my eyes over the years. I have also done some filler to lift my face from a resting scowl to a smile. I have always been thrilled with the results at the time, and nobody seems to notice as I have been very clear that I want it to be as natural looking as possible. However, I recently looked at a photo of myself when I had done some work, and I wouldn't say I liked the slightly frozen and stiff look that smiled back at me. It made me think that my big, goofy, and always enthusiastic smile, which wrinkles my face and is so full of expression, is maybe one of my best features allowing me to show how I feel and connect me with others and I don't want to lose that no matter how many wrinkles I get! Also, I'm not too fond of the need to maintain, which is very costly, and I don't like the idea of chasing something that seems like a bit of a fool's game. I take excellent care of my skin, and sometimes I think that I might be happier just accepting the wrinkles and the inevitable slide and pull of gravity and instead, I work with the canvas I have been given and find other ways to connect to my more youthful side by staying active, enjoying clothing choices that are more youthful in style, etc. I will go back and forth on this issue, and that's okay. It is a journey that will likely require some experimentation, lots of acceptance, and a few mistakes!
I have done Botox a few times and have been happy. I smoked for years and now have, which I think are deep, wrinkles in between my upper lip and nose. I made a pact with someone I trust that we would be brutally honest if we ever felt the other was getting carried away. So far, so good. I'm not sure anyone else would notice, but it makes me feel better. I also have a pesky indentation in between my eyes which I'm considering doing. For me, the key is less is more. I also did a lot of research. I went to a doctor and ensured she was on board with just doing a little. At this stage, I'm trying to be less judgy and focus on what makes me happy.
I have a massive crease in between my eyebrows. It makes me look stern. I want to decrease its severity. More importantly, I have a lot of sun damage on my face. I would love to get rid of it. I know a few people who have, and it is good.