Lock Jaw Lucy - Just Jill

Just Jill is the creation of Jill Cohen Morris. Jill is an avid rambler and married mother of two from Toronto, Canada, with a remarkable zest for life and a fabulous sense of humor. 

Dear Just Jill,

Oral sex … there it is! Who is doing it, and who is not? Do you enjoy it? Do you still want to do it? Do you do it just because you think you should?

I know, I know, so many questions!!

It is not my favorite thing to do; however, I have never minded giving a blow job. I know how much my partner loves being on the receiving end, which makes me happy.

Sadly or happily, depending on how you look at it, I think my fellatio career might be coming to an end. No word of a lie, I came very close to getting lockjaw the other night!!

Has this ever happened to anyone? Maybe I am doing something wrong?

Any Sole Sisters willing to share thoughts on oral sex? Techniques? While I am at it … spit or swallow?

What’s a gal to do?

Sincerely,

Lock Jaw Lucy

Sole Sister Advice & Comments 

• Wow! This is a bold question, and I admire the one who asked it! Ummm, all of the above…Maybe it’s time for a combination of techniques before Lockjaw sets in. Hopefully, there will be an equal number of you on the “receiving end,” and it will not give him the same affliction. 
  
  
• I don't have a specific answer, but I knew someone who went to a jaw specialist, and specific exercises were recommended to help with this.
  
  
• Ligaments and tendon health and function are estrogen-dependent, and loss of estrogen in menopause causes a deterioration of all joints, including the jaw, which can result in pain and arthritis development. I am currently in treatment with a physio who deals with TMJ lockjaw specifically. She was referred to me by my TMJ specialist. A thought to keep in mind.
  
  
• On lock jaw: I am on medication that seems to cause clenching. I'm having a bite guard made, but I also catch myself clenching during the day. Right now, BJs are out, as are large sandwiches and gum. Hopefully, this will help me resume all activities.
  
  
• Bold question. I'll admit I am too embarrassed to dive into this one, but good on you whoever asked it. There might come a time in a woman's life when one can say, "Yep, done enough of that." I'm just saying.
  
  
• My suggestion is to have oral play be part of your foreplay and not the “main event”. This removes the pressure to perform and produce specific results. Helps you both have fun and be playful with the act. Ensures your partner still gets their desire for oral play met. So by incorporating oral play into your sexy-time as foreplay (and not the “final event”), you are less likely to experience physical distress and cause yourself jaw pain. And always remember: keep the lines of communication open so your sexy time remains fun and playful!
  
  
• I recommend reading The Wheel of Consent: The Art of Giving and Receiving. It completely changed the way I approach pleasure and conversation, both platonic and romantic. The other book I recommend is Come As You Are, and I recommend the audio version.
  
  
• My general rule is that I'd happily include it as foreplay only. It takes the stress away … and hopefully, the lock jaw.
  
  
• Wow. Can't say I expected this question. I do enjoy giving and receiving. 
  
  
• Until my ex and I split, I was under the impression men didn't enjoy giving, which seemed to be my experience up to and including with my ex. Once I became single again, to my happy surprise, I found out many more men enjoy giving than I thought. I still enjoy giving; in fact, I'd say it's the majority of our sex play; often, intercourse doesn't even happen. Now, for some reason, he's not giving anymore, which might be tied to his seeming lack of sex drive (another long story). He will still pleasure me in other ways, so I'm not left out, but I'll admit I do miss getting oral. 
  
  
• Switching it up between mouth and hand can give the jaw a break, at least in my experience. I find that as men get older, they just take a lot longer to finish.
  
  
• TMJ and teeth grinding is another lesser known symptom of. Menopause.
  
  
• Egads, for once, I have nothing to say. I'm currently suffering from OCDOS (One Coffee Date Only Syndrome).
  
  
• I have put in my dues. I am done with blow jobs. Perks of aging!!
  
  
• Open communication with your partner.
  
  
• I love receiving but not so great at giving. Oh well … works for us for now. Fingers crossed it continues!!
  
  

We look forward to hearing your advice in the comments!

Happy Rambling!

SSR doesn't endorse the advice or content shared in this column. Our goal is to access the wisdom of our incredible Sole Sisters. 

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