Greying Gerta - Just Jill Advice, Rambler Cafe Blog

Just Jill is the creation of Jill Cohen Morris. Jill is an avid rambler and married mother of two from Toronto, Canada, with a remarkable zest for life and a fabulous sense of humor.

Dear Just Jill,

I am in my late fifties and starting to go grey. I have been coloring my hair for so many years I barely know my natural color.

I see so many women with beautiful grey hair …, with luscious texture and beautiful tones that enhance their beauty.

Not me! My grey hair is mousy and frizzy. I am of two minds. I can continue to color and highlight my hair as usual, or I could start to highlight and color my hair a tone of grey that suits my complexion.

I need advice from my wise Sole Sisters. How do I handle this transition? Is it worth it to embrace the grey while still using color treatments? Are any other sole sisters going through this? What have you done?

What’s a gal to do?

Sincerely,

Greying Gerda

Sole Sister Advice & Comments

I have short hair and had blonde tips for all of my adult life. However, I was sick of it, and when I had 12 weeks off work to have an operation, I had my hair cut without getting color and then a second cut without color before returning to work. I was left with my own color. I couldn’t get used to the color because it was so much darker than I remembered it to be. Moving forward five years, I haven’t colored my hair in all that time, and I am slowly going grey. It is actually taking much longer to go broadly grey than I expected. I would advise going to a good hairdresser who will help you manage the transition. Worse case scenario you can dye it again. Good luck.
Try on wigs first to see what it will look like.
I highlighted my hair for many years. I have had grey hair interspersed throughout my hair for most of my adult life. The highlights sort of camouflaged the grey. I decided just to stop the highlights, mainly because I didn’t like the cost or the time spent in the salon chair. I missed the highlights for a while but slowly got used to my brown and grey hair. I have a lot of hair, and the texture changes in different weather. It is soft and straight in winter, and in the humid summer weather, it is coarse, wavy, and bushy, like I’ve stuck my finger in a socket. The greys amplify that Einstein look. I am mostly happy with the decision to go grey, although I did like the mix of my grey with the highlights. Maybe try that as a transition technique?
I have only one opinion, and I share it with my 95-year-old beautiful mother-in-law: Grey is not a color. Lol.
Start to transition to grey.
I colored and did highlights for most of my adult life until 10 years ago. I decided to stop due to how long it took and the cost. I have never looked back and use purple shampoo to give it a bit of a shine. It has become a mix of grey and blonde, and I love it. Maybe do highlights and find a good hairdresser.
The transition to going fully grey can be challenging as there is the awkward growing-out stage. I don’t think you can really know what your hair is going to look like until you actually do it. My hairstylist thought I would be much more grey than I am. I am so happy that I took the leap. My hair feels so healthy, and it is so nice not to spend all the time in the chair getting it colored and highlighted. To give me a bit of pizazz, I add bright blue, turquoise, or purple to my bangs.
My hair’s texture is changing a lot as I go grey, and I have found that good products really help. Also, find a stylist who will do balayage (end up) instead of highlights (roots down). Balayage grows out more naturally, and you don’t get a hard roots line like when highlights grow out. I only get balayage once a year, and it’s a good transition away from maintaining highlights.
Spend the money on a good hair colorist for the following several cuts. She'll help you grow out gracefully and give you great tips on taming the frizz. It's totally worth it during these transitions. (Growing out my color is saving me $800/year!)
The transition to grey can be done gracefully. I had a great hairstylist who used lots of baby lights and toner, so I didn't get that dreaded line. My grey is much nicer than I expected. It is a different texture, and mine is curly now. Good shampoo and products make all the difference. Even a coconut oil mask helps. Occasionally, I use purple shampoo now, but there's no yellow in my hair anymore.
You won’t know what your own grey hair looks like until you grow it out. My hair changed substantially as I aged, and when I grew out the grey, it was much different than my younger dark brown. I could not have predicted what my grey hair would look like. And now, I just love it! Worse case scenario you can always dye it back.
I always highlighted my hair until a few years ago because mine comes through white, not grey. The highlights always looked yellow in comparison, so I didn’t like that. I did grey blending a few times until the blonde was out and then glossing a couple of times. They are all as expensive as coloring, so I’ve stopped completely now. I also forgot how dark I was underneath all the highlights, and the texture of my hair has changed. I fight the frizz with a leave-in conditioner, as oils just make my hair look greasy. I use hair masks regularly. I prefer the natural look and found I love not having the blonde.
The Best thing that ever happened to my hair was a severe allergic reaction to hair dye! The transition was horrible because I had to go cold turkey. My long-time colorist and hairdresser were horrified at the thought of me going grey even though I had just come from the Dr who said I would have an anaphylactic reaction to any dye touching my head, so after that encouraging note, I never went back to either of them. After five months of trying to grow it out, I walked into a new salon and said cut it all off!
My friends who have gone silver look beautiful. I encourage everyone to give it a try and, if need be, have the hairdresser add grey to help grow it out!
You could try a semi-permanent color to put pigment where you still have natural color. I’ve done soft blues, lavender, and soft pinks (remember, it’s going to fade out…it’s only a semi-permanent, after all) and loved the way it blended with the grey but popped some interest into my “mousy brown” natural color.
I found it really freeing to let the color and highlights go, not to mention healthier hair. It takes a little time to get used to your new look, but it's worth it, and you'll save a lot of money!
I have blonde hair and started going white in my forties. I tried purple shampoo, but that exacerbated it - I looked older before I was ready. I found people treated me differently because I looked older. Apparently, my natural hair has no color in it. I finally had foils done to blend some really pale blonde back in, and I loved it.
Embrace the gray, which is actually a beautiful shade of silver … Words matter! Silver hair takes some getting used to and requires different care and different products than your previously dyed hair. Yes, it can be mousy and frizzy at first, but you will love it once you consult a hairstylist and figure out how to best care for it and possibly get some highlights to help you enhance your natural silver! Silver hair rocks! Enjoy it