Gassy Gabby's Toots - Just Jill, Sole Sister Ramblers

Just Jill is the creation of Jill Cohen Morris. Jill is an avid rambler and mother of two from Toronto, Canada with a remarkable zest for life and a fabulous sense of humor.

Dear Just Jill,

I fart, yes I do and not once a week, not once a day. I fart all the damn time! I just can’t seem to control it. It’s embarrassing and if I try to hold it in it’s uncomfortable.

Why is it that I become gassy at the most inopportune times? I have dinner at home, no problem. I’m out at a restaurant and boom, all I want to do is release, release, release!

When I know a fart is coming I try to cough or move a chair to cover the sound. If it's silent, but deadly, I will quickly (but not so quickly that anyone notices) move away from the area so no one suspects it was me.

I am told this is common for women as we age. Yay for us!

I’m not brave enough to own up to it. Why is there such a taboo about farting? It took me forever to “let one go” in front of my partner. I cringe to think of anyone else hearing my bodily sounds.

Any other gassy gals out there? What’s a girl to do?

Sincerely,

Gassy Gabby

Sole Sister Advice & Comments

I'll happily break wind at home! I just trumpet away. No shame at all at the disgust of my son and daughter. But I'm quiet when I'm out of the house. Sometimes I let out a roar at an empty shop aisle. I do make sure that I poop every morning without fail. Why? A Chinese says, "Noisy farts don't smell; Smelly farts don't sound." I make sure I give out noisy ones but not deadly ones!
As we grow older, we tend to get gassy; sometimes, it's from our food. There was a time I changed from white rice to brown rice, which gave me gas. Not eating at the right time and skipping meals causes gas.
Boy, this is a tough one for me, and I wish I had some wise words for you. Honestly, I am solidly in the camp of unhealthily and uncomfortably holding it in at all costs unless I am alone or far away from others. I couldn't do it even when I lived with my proudly flatulent ex-husband. But I should probably get over myself, given that it is a healthy and natural bodily function. I have witnessed my Mom, who is 85 struggling because she no longer controls what noises come from her. I know she feels embarrassed about it, and I pretend I don't notice to try normalizing it for her. I am not sure I have any advice, in particular, other than to own it and carry on. That goes for everything in life. If you do it confidently, others seem to accept it.
If you know me, you know I have very little self-consciousness about farting, and I've always been gassy, so not noticed a change. Sometimes I lift my butt to let the air adequately escape. I learned this from my Mom. I think it's hilarious that we are middle-aged women talking about farting and pooping on the internet. Farts, for better or worse, are universally and timelessly hilarious. So my advice is to enjoy a post-fart giggle.
My hubs, normally walking way ahead of me, will suddenly walk next to me, fart, and then blame it on me. I'll take my revenge on him with my silent but lethal ones.
My pup's toots can clear a room in seconds! Ours smell like roses compared to hers.