Permission to be You - Jane's Mindful Musings

Give yourself permission to be you—the real, authentic you. The version of you that brings you joy, lights you up, and makes your heart feel at home.

A while ago, I read an interview with Maria Shriver. She spoke about the period after her divorce, when she found herself searching for answers. Who was she now? What did she really want? What did the future look like? During that journey she realised she wasn't simply searching for answers—she was seeking permission to "go out and become Maria."

Those words stopped me in my tracks.

They gave words to a journey I had travelled myself during menopause and a difficult divorce.

For many women, midlife can feel like standing at a crossroads. It can be a time of loss, uncertainty and questioning, but it can also become one of the most beautiful seasons of self-discovery. Sometimes, before we can grow, we have to gently dismantle the walls we've spent years building—the walls created to protect ourselves, to meet expectations, to keep the peace, or simply to fit in.

Those walls may have served us once, but there comes a time when they begin to keep us from ourselves.

At Sole Sister Ramblers, we celebrate the joys of midlife and beyond because we believe this chapter deserves a new narrative. Rather than talking about a "midlife crisis," I'd much rather think of it as a midlife revolution—a time of awakening, of rediscovery, and of choosing to live more intentionally.

Before my own life unravelled, I had created a version of myself based on who I thought I was supposed to be. I was a wife, a mother, a business owner, and someone who tried very hard to meet everyone's expectations. Underneath that carefully constructed identity was another woman—the woman I longed to become but was too afraid to meet.

Fear kept me small.

Fear of judgement.
Fear of disappointing others.
Fear of what people—especially my children—might think if I changed.

Looking back, I realise I had built myself into a box with walls so high I could barely see beyond them. Then life changed everything.

As painful as those years were, they offered me an unexpected gift. They gave me permission to "go out and become Jane." Not the Jane everyone expected me to be, but the Jane I had quietly been longing to discover for years.

It wasn't an overnight transformation. There were moments of grief, confusion, self-doubt and loneliness. Reinventing yourself rarely happens without discomfort. But there was also freedom. With the maturity and wisdom that often come with middle age, I found the courage to ask myself new questions.

What brings me joy?
What matters now?
How do I want to spend the precious decades that lie ahead?

Slowly, I stopped asking for permission from everyone else and started giving it to myself.

One of the greatest blessings during that time was the small circle of women who stood beside me. They reminded me who I was whenever I forgot. They cheered me on, challenged me, picked me up, and celebrated every tiny step forward.

There is something profoundly life-giving about female friendship. When women truly support one another, we become braver, stronger and more willing to embrace who we really are.

The beautiful thing is that you don't need a divorce, a diagnosis, menopause or a major life upheaval to begin becoming yourself. You don't have to wait until life forces you to change.

You can choose today.

You can give yourself permission to say yes to the things that make you come alive, to set boundaries without guilt, to dream new dreams, to try something you've always wanted to do, or simply to stop apologising for being exactly who you are.

Because the only permission you really need is your own.

So, my Sole Sisters, as you ramble through your week, I hope you'll give yourself permission to be you.

The real.
The authentic.
The beautifully imperfect.
The joyful woman you were always meant to be.

Because she has been there all along, quietly waiting for you to let her out.

Authenticity is the daily practice
of letting go of who we think
we are supposed to be and
embracing who we are. - Brene Brown

READ MORE > Jane's Mindful Musings, Rambler Cafe Blog.