My Unique Middle Life - JT's Tales From The Trail

Until recently, I never could have imagined having this much leisure time. My life's pace is so much slower than it used to be. It happened gradually; until recently, I hadn't noticed this change.

I can't even imagine adhering to the schedule I maintained in my thirties and forties when every minute of a typical day was jam-packed with non-negotiable obligations. Waking up early and tired, making breakfast and packing lunches, rushing to work, picking up kids, managing activities, homework, dinner, laundry, and random surprises.

I bet some of you remember one of your kids saying something along the lines of, "Oh, I forgot to tell you I promised my teacher I would bring lemon bars to school tomorrow for our bake sale," prompting a feeling of utter overwhelm.

Back then, when our alarm went off at 6 am in the morning, my husband Stormy and I would review our daily schedule before we got out of bed, assess who needed to be where doing what when, and then take off running. On days when things went smoothly, with no unforeseen crises or extra obligations, watching an entire episode of Law and Order at the end of the day was the ultimate luxury.

Fitting in time to socialize, exercise, or relax was rare. It's no wonder I lost track of so many friendships during this time. I was exhausted—all the time. I think it might kill me if I tried to maintain this pace even for a week now. I couldn't do it even if I had to.

What changed? Lots of things. My husband retired a few years back, so he now fulfills our life maintenance obligations. My only job is to work. It's a dreamy arrangement.

I also left my job in 2019 with the plan to once again leverage my entrepreneurial spirit to build an empire of sorts. I never imagined it was time to slow down, but the universe had other plans - mainly the pandemic. During the pandemic, I worked without distraction. I discovered I could finish everything without unnecessary in-person interruptions in five or fewer hours. I also was happy to abandon so many unfulfilling social obligations.

I filled the extra time in my days with rambling and connecting with friends. After all, we were all at home and craving leisurely phone chats for the first time since we were young adults. I had time to rest when I was tired and, in doing so, gained zero tolerance for exhaustion.

This changed my worldview about how I wanted to live, and there was no going back.

These days if I have a restless night, I sleep in. Everyone I work with knows that I don’t do early morning meetings. I protect time to invest in my friendships, which bring much more joy to my life than work ever did. Who knew?

I also ramble every single day because I love it. Rambling has become a non-negotiable addiction. I also prioritize writing time and look forward to enjoying a sunset every day. I no longer differentiate between weekdays and weekends.

These ponderings made me think that having time to be me is a well-earned middle-aged luxury. This is a profoundly unique life change for which I am very grateful.

So Sole Sisters, I hope you take some time to ramble this week and think about the things you appreciate in mid-life and beyond.

We would love to hear about the ways your life has changed as you grow older in the comments.

READ MORE > JT's Tales From The Trail, Rambler Cafe Blog