Mylene Sherrin is raising a very willful border collie and caring for chickens, sheep, and a garden on Salt Spring Island, Canada. She loves to ramble, adventure to faraway places, and sip good coffee.
It was my turn to introduce myself. I was in a Zoom meeting with a new group of people, feeling uneasy and socially awkward. I told them my name and then was at a loss for words. This was the first time I had introduced myself since retiring, the first time in my adult life that I hadn’t started with defining myself by my profession.Lately, I’ve been mulling over my new identity as a retired person. I’ve been contemplating who I am. Without work filling a significant portion of my time and energy, I feel like my teenage self, with fewer responsibilities and more time to pursue interests. Long ago, I used to do art and write. Will these things re-emerge in this new space in my life? What are some new things I would like to do or learn?
This could be how I could have introduced myself in that meeting: I am a middle-aged woman raising a very willful border collie, caring for chickens and sheep, and a garden. My family is vital to me. I see my parents weekly, am very close to my children, and my husband is my best friend and life partner. I’m a listener, watcher, nurturer, and creator.
In our society, it can feel like this kind of “retired” identity is less valuable than an identity tied to an exciting or impressive profession.
Years ago, I was visiting acquaintances on another Gulf Island close to the one I live on in British Columbia, Canada. They were an older couple who I didn’t know very well. After lunch, we went on a ramble down the country dirt road, the summer smell of hot, dry Arbutus leaves and fir needles in the air.
The woman said to me, “Tell me about yourself.” I began by telling her that I worked in an Elementary school. She cut me off. “I’m not asking about your job. I want to know about you”. This conversation has stuck with me as one of those insightful life moments. And now, I am pondering this idea again as I enter this quarter of life.
Many in this group are either looking ahead to or contemplating retirement or, like me, have taken the plunge already. How will your identity transform? What will this significant new chapter of life look like? What is required to transition from defining yourself by “what you do” to “who you are”?
Favorable views of aging and physical and social engagement are the most critical factors contributing to a positive sense of identity in retirement. So, get out and ramble through this wonderful chapter of life, and enjoy connecting with this diverse and vibrant community of sole sisters!
We want to hear your retirement dreams, stories, or challenges in the comments.
READ MORE > Her Story, Rambler Cafe Blog
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