Yesterday, while rambling, I pondered a video posted in our lovely Facebook Group this week. It featured a professor filling a jar first with golf balls, then pebbles, and finally sand. The lesson was that you must put the golf balls in the jar before the pebbles and sand, or they will not fit.
The golf balls symbolize the most essential things in your life; the pebbles are of secondary importance, and the sand is of little importance. The analogy is that if you first fill your life jar with pebbles and sand, you'll fail to make room for the golf balls.
This is a famous time management analogy. I've used it for decades to train teams I've managed in different contexts. It was initially developed by Stephen Covey, author of the popular book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, published in 1989. If you haven't read this book, I recommend it.
Covey's time management jar is filled with big rocks, pebbles, and sand. Big rocks move your business forward fundamentally, pebbles are necessary admin tasks, and the sand is time wasters like pointless meetings. Ugg, pointless meetings are the worst.
Everyone who has ever worked with me knows about big rocks. I often ask my team members, "What are your Big Rocks?" I continually remind them to "Work on your big rocks first "and "Get out of the sandbox." I complain about days I get caught spinning my wheels in the sandbox. To this day, I outline my big rocks in writing and check in on them at the start and end of every day.
Yet applying this analogy to my life has never, not once, occurred to me - until yesterday. This fact demonstrates a preposterous lack of perspective about what is truly important in my life. This may be because work, until recently, has always been my biggest rock. I was the primary breadwinner in our family, and work has always held the trump card over almost everything else.
This changed for me during the lockdowns. I left a full-time, high-stress, all-encompassing job shortly before the pandemic, and this, combined with a forced societal slowing down, caused my priorities to shift. I am very grateful for this change, but it was turbulent while it was happening.
The professor in the video defined what he thought his student's big rocks, pebbles, and sand should be. However, our big rocks are fluid, evolving, and ever-changing as we age. Our individual goals, preferences, and societal and cultural norms also significantly impact them.
When I was an adolescent, my friends were my big rocks. Later, work, home, and family filled my jar to overflowing, so many of my longtime friendships were put on hold. Last year, grief was a big rock. For many people, elevating themselves from poverty, recovering from divorce, changing social or environmental issues, or finding their way to a safe country might be a big rock.
Everyone's life jar is unique, and I think the goal might be to fill our jars consciously and purposefully. I feel blessed that my current big rocks are family, friends, rambling, Sole Sisters, maintaining my health, and traveling. Work is becoming a pebble as I ready myself for retirement. I feel lucky to have this jar, but I also know it can all change on a dime.
What are your Big Rocks? How have they changed in mid-life and beyond? Tell us in the comments.
READ MORE > JT'S Tales From the Trail, Rambler Cafe Blog.
Leave a comment