Naomi Weisman is a Canadian-Australian mother of three who loves to ramble with her dog, cook for family and friends, and laugh whenever possible.
I have always had a mind of my own, which only amplified when I entered my teen years. To say that my parents had to dig deep to find the strength not to lecture me regularly would be an understatement.
I was never into drugs or excessive drinking, so they could trust that I wasn’t going down a dark path in that regard, but I was fiercely protective of my independence and did not want to be questioned about what time I would be home or who I was with. I felt that I was capable of making my own choices and that I could be trusted to make good ones.
At 18, fresh out of high school, I was ready to push the boundaries. After six months of hard work and saving, I packed my backpack, passport, Eurail pass, and traveler’s cheques and took off for Amsterdam. It was the beginning of an exhilarating adventure in Europe.
I started on my journey with a friend, but after visiting a few places together, we realized we didn’t have the same goals for the trip. So, we wished each other luck and parted ways alone. As a lone female, other travelers adopted me wherever I went. I met so many people from all over the world who enriched my experiences, but I also found myself in some tricky situations that took some finesse to get out of.
For example, I crashed my motorbike on the island of Santorini, Greece, and fractured my hip. Unable to walk and dependent on the people around me, I had no choice but to call Mom and Dad. Needless to say, my parents were less than impressed to arrange for me to fly home emergency-style! I think they were hoping that this experience would curb my adventurous spirit.
No, not even a little bit!
For a few years, my poor parents had to endure me living in a conflict zone, living as a street vendor in Japan, having a rare and dangerous illness that was contracted while in Thailand, and having a bad relationship or two along the way–all without vocalizing their opinions. They also judiciously remained silent when I chose to go through 3 high-risk pregnancies and one life-threatening delivery, all so that I could have the big family that I always wanted.
These experiences, though challenging, were instrumental in my personal growth and understanding of the world, and my parents understood that.
Given my history, it's ironic that taking a back seat is so challenging for me now that my three kids are grown and making their own decisions. I think many parents can relate to this struggle, a mix of pride and worry, as we watch our children assert their autonomy.
My daughter is a fiercely independent, loving, strong-minded, ambitious woman. My sons are both socially gregarious, kind, and capable. They are all the best of friends and love to do things together, like backwoods camping, attending heavy metal concerts, and who knows what else! So, what does my daughter give her brothers for their birthdays? Skydiving vouchers!
I have known quite a few people who have completed at least one jump out of a plane, usually in tandem with an expert. It is safe and thrilling, so I’m told. But, oh my goodness, I did NOT like the thought of my babies free-falling at 14,000 feet, even with a seasoned professional attached to their backs!
It was tough for me to show outward signs of encouragement while my insides were roiling with fear; it was an absolute leap of faith (yes, pun intended) to tell myself that this was an excellent idea and that I am so glad they are having this experience.
Through the thrilling, scary, frustrating, and lovely moments with my family, I am constantly learning about myself. Reflecting on what my parents went through in raising such a free spirit often leaves me breathless. Those moments of asserting my independence and the strength and love my parents showed in allowing me to spread my wings are lessons I carry with me.
Being a parent is a wild ride. My kids' happiness, well-being, and success are always at the forefront of my mind. Letting them live their lives on their own terms is important, but boy, is it difficult not to voice an opinion!
The tables of time have a way of shifting, and now that I am aging along with them, my kids have lots of advice for me on my life choices—a reward for all of my fretting and unsolicited advice over the years, I suppose.
READ MORE > Her Story, Rambler Cafe Blog
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