Highschool Reunion Ronda - Just Jill

  Just Jill is the creation of Jill Cohen Morris. Jill is an avid rambler and mother of two from Toronto, Canada with a remarkable zest for life and a fabulous sense of humor.

Dear Just Jill,

Say it ain’t so … the dreaded high school reunion!! 

Part of me is so excited about seeing everybody, well maybe curious is a better word. Then there is the part of me that feels once the initial “Hi, how are you, what have you been up to?” is over I will have nothing to say. There is a reason why I only kept in touch with a very few people.

I would love to be a fly on the wall …  watching and listening. 

I need advice from my wise Sole Sisters. Have any of you gone to your high school reunions? I want to hear all about it … the good, the bad, and the ugly!!

Should I go, or should I not go?

What’s a gal to do?

Sincerely,

Reunion Ready or Not Ronda

Sole Sister Advice & Comments

• When I made the decision to go to my 45th reunion, I had no expectations and just took the moment in. Originally, I went because my best girlfriend was going, and so I thought, let me drive the 4 1/2 hours to spend some time with her. I actually enjoyed the event and saw people I hadn’t seen since high school and had a great time. Partly, I was surprised by how deep some of the conversations were with people that I knew from high school since I have not really been in touch with anyone except my girlfriend. It was an enjoyable evening with some reminders of what we all experienced during that time. Unfortunately, over a fourth of our class had already passed away. 
  
  
• I am going to my 50th reunion in June. I am very excited just to revisit that part of my life from so long ago.
  
  
• I have never gone. When I went to university, I moved away from where I grew up and never returned. I’m very different now from then and cannot stand the questions, even if kindly meant. My mom still lives there, so I see folks occasionally, and it’s always weird, as my life is so different from theirs.
  
  
• I've got one coming up as well this month. A part of me wants to go, but the wallflower side of me says no. I can totally relate, girl!
  
  
• I love school reunions… so much FUN!!! Go!
  
  
• I've been to two, and there is one coming up. I'll not be attending. - more a timing issue than anything. The two I went to I enjoyed- especially the first one as a lot of my old friends were there. The second, not as much, because as soon as the drinks started flowing, all the old cliques got together again. Felt like grade 11 all over again. That being said, I'd say go. You may not have a chance to see these folks again. And who knows, it could be a blast! Go with the intent to just enjoy.
  
  
• I went to my 30th high school reunion. I went with my best friend since I was 10 years old. We had a good time, and it was interesting to see how most people hadn't changed all that much. Except for the guy I had been so in love with...he'd changed a lot, and not for the better. I had fantasized about him for years, but then, faced with reality, I saw that things had turned out for the best, and I didn't end up with him! It was so lovely to see some of the teachers who had helped shape my life and meet them as an adult. It gave new insights into who they were instead of the warped teen-age vision I'd had of them. Overall, it was a good experience, but I don't feel I ever need to go to another one.
  
  
• I’ve always found myself pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoy reunions and hearing about how people’s lives are playing out. We have lost a sizeable portion of our grad cohort over the last decade, though, and I think that is going to make our upcoming 50th bittersweet. There seems to be more genuine caring and concern for one another as we age, too. At our last reunion we made a memory table for all our classmates who had passed, using their high school pics. It was sad how many had passed, but all the other grads spent a lot of time reminiscing at that table. I’m glad we did it.
  
  
• Everyone feels differently about high school reunions. Personally, I really enjoy mine and go to each one. However, when I ask other grads about attending, I get varied responses. I’m on the grad reunion committee, so I speak to a lot of my old classmates. The biggest, most disturbing answer is...”I was bullied in high school” - and this answer has come from both men and women. It breaks my heart! And here, 55 years later - this is what keeps them from coming! Sometimes, we convince someone to come, but some flatly refuse. We have made them more informal over the years- that makes a difference. Just take a chance and go... maybe go with a classmate?
  
  
• At our 40th reunion, we had a Memory Tree with hanging pics and notes regarding the 15 or so classmates we'd lost. Since then, we've lost at least another 10 that I'm aware of.
  
  
• GO!!!!! I waited until my 45th to go. I haven’t been in touch with many over the years. It was WONDERFUL. And we’re losing some, so now we stay in touch more. I saw my besties for the first time in 45 years. It was as if no time had passed. So good. I was smiling for weeks afterward. And I’m not generally a fan of big gatherings.
  
  
• I went to my 30th. It was informal—we just met in a park. It was interesting. I had some conversations with people that made me wish we had hung out back then. I also learned about other people’s experiences with my grade school bully, which helped. It's nothing like the movies, but if your expectations are low, it’ll be kind of cool.
  
  
• Many people did not have happy school years due to all kinds of circumstances...and the percentage is probably a good deal higher than we imagine. For some people, a couple of years which are forever imprinted. Some, it was all of the school...some, it "was that one incident." Experiences vary considerably. Count yourself lucky if you even keep in touch with one school chum...statistically, these days, it's very rare. If high school wasn't miserable for you, then go to the reunion. People can actually forge new friendships via reunions..(I'm in touch with school chums and wouldn't have been if I hadn't attended the reunions. And two of them used to be a little hard on me at school). Life should change most people. If you are able, attend with eyes wide open... you are meeting people you once thought you knew...but who knows now?
  
  
• I've been to a few. I find school reunions a lot of fun. Years ago, in 2007, my high school had its 200th anniversary. A large number of my cohort attended. It had been 21 years since we had graduated, and it was tremendous fun to see people from our year as well as other years. I honestly don’t think it mattered to any of us what we looked like. It was just fun to catch up and have a few laughs.
  
  
• I have been going to my high school reunions with a close friend every 10 years. Last year, there was a multi-aged one with about three-year levels. I knew a handful of people, and they weren’t from my close group, so we had very little in common. I had nothing to say to them, and it was awkward. I was so relieved when my friend asked if I wanted to leave. I don’t think I’ll ever go again.
  
  
• I have had two and been to both. The most recent was just a couple of years ago. I was so nervous. It was held in my hometown, and it was so wonderful to see people. I loved hearing what people were up to. I had a chat with one guy who was in my classes for years but I didn’t really ever spend time getting to know him. I found out that he is super nice and really interesting. We now keep in touch and he is a lovely friend. So glad I went!!
  
  
• Nope. I went to my 10th year, and I’m good. All the yucky feelings came back. Go if you genuinely want to, not if you have FOMO.

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