Seven Lovely Logics For a Happy Life - Jane's Mindful Musings

Jane Witherspoon is a Canadian expat adventurer, yoga instructor, and passionate rambler who recently relocated from Panama to Denia, Spain.

A few days ago, a friend and I had a heartfelt chat about how many of the sentiments on this list continue to be a controlling factor in our lives and how we deny ourselves joy and contentment by holding onto them.

This is a lifelong lesson that we must return to repeatedly, reminding ourselves that if we can just focus on our own journey and live in the present moment, we will have more of an opportunity to find self-love and peace.

ONE: Make peace with your past so it doesn't spoil your present.

People can have trouble moving on from past adversity. Our minds can be unkind places that hold onto and relive negative past memories. We have all experienced good and bad times, but finding a way of letting go of the past and accepting who we are in the present moment is where we will find joy. 

Learning from our past and using those experiences will make us stronger, wiser, and more resilient. Find ways to let go of the past so it doesn't control how you live your life now. 

TWO: What others think of you is none of your business.

Easier said than done but remember, one of the most destructive things you can do is hold onto a belief of who others think you are. You cannot control how others perceive you or what they think of you; no matter how you choose to live your life, someone will always be judging it. 

I've lived most of my life trying to be what was expected of me, what others thought I should be, but I have come to a place where I am more comfortable expressing my true self. This is your life to live, do things that bring you joy and act in ways that make you happy. Surround yourself with people who love and understand you. You will not be everyone's cup of tea, which is okay.

THREE: Time heals almost everything. Give the time some time.

This is the only lovely logic that I struggled to fully embrace. I understand the sentiment behind it, and for most people, it can be true that with time they will move forward with life. But, sometimes, there is such a tremendous loss that no amount of time can fully heal it. They may find a way to live life again and find happiness and joy, but they will always carry that wound, never entirely fading away.

FOUR: No one is the reason for your happiness except yourself.

We need to take personal responsibility for our own happiness. This means not blaming others or external situations for your unhappiness. Your attitude is a critical factor in embracing this concept. 

Happiness is something that you choose to work towards every day; it is about making those decisions in your life that are healthy for you. Finding ways to be grateful and learning how to say goodbye to things and people threatening this state of mind. Instead of letting people and things control your emotional health, take back your power and responsibility for your life and happiness.

FIVE: Don't compare your life with others; you do not know their journey.

Comparison is so toxic that if you over-indulge, it will rob you of the joy of living in your life. When we drop into the game of comparison, do you find that we often compare the unimportant things in life? The outwardly measurable stuff like money, cars, homes, clothing, and beauty and aging in this stage of our lives. 

Allow yourself to focus on your journey, what creates joy in your life, let go of comparison, and instead find the compassion to help others who may be struggling in their life journey.

SIX: Stop overthinking; it's alright not to know all the answers.

This one made me laugh; it asks us to chill out. Relax; the answer will come in its own time, or, you know what, sometimes there just isn't an answer. Calm that monkey mind down that we all possess and make space to breathe. All will be well.

SEVEN: Smile because you don't own all the problems of the world.

As women and mothers, we sometimes think that we do, but a wise woman I know recently told me, "You need to let that shit go; you don't own everyone's problems." There comes a time when we need to allow others; here I'm talking about my children and family members to solve their problems. I tend to take on the worries of my children, who are all grown women in their 30s and above, and try to find the answers for them. This creates anxiety and unhappiness in my life and does not allow them to grow and develop problem-solving skills. I am still more than happy to listen and give input and suggestions, but ultimately, I am still learning after many years to then let it go.

And so, my Sole Sisters, as you ramble through your week, may one or more of these lovely logics resonate with you, creating an opportunity to pause and contemplate what brings meaning to your life.

READ MORE > Jane's Mindful Musings, Rambler Cafe Blog